


Ragnarök On The Road(not all who wander are lost)

by Voidish



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - Fandom
Genre: (hopefully), Brodinsons, Found Family, Gen, Happy Thor, Humor, Powerful Loki, Puppy Thor, Team Bonding, cuz why not, if it wasn't clear the author stans loki, perpetually hungover valkyrie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:54:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23805667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voidish/pseuds/Voidish
Summary: That Thor revengers fic you didn't know you needed.A king, a sorcerer, a Valkyrie, and a part-time monster all cramped together in an RV...seems like the beginning of the most hilarious joke in all of the nine realms.Loki was going to kill Thor.Now the fact that he was thinking about committing first-degree murder wasn't surprising but the events that led to three of his acquaintances(he didn't have any friends and his elder brother didn't count) and himself being cramped in an RV lost who-knows-where, were certainly a.....Surprise.The stupid oaf(**cough**Thor**cough**)  came up with the "perfect team bonding activity"(Thor's words).....A road trip
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Brunnhilde | Valkyrie, Bruce Banner & Loki, Bruce Banner & Thor, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie & Loki (Marvel), Brunnhilde | Valkyrie & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 31





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> ayyy it's ya girl.
> 
> this has been sitting in my folders ever since i was 12. might complete it one day. lol. no time like the future and all that snazz.

Loki was going to kill Thor.

Now the fact that he was thinking about committing first-degree murder wasn't surprising but the events that led to three of his acquaintances(he didn't have any friends and his elder brother didn't count) and himself being cramped in an RV lost who-knows-where, were certainly a.....Surprise.

The day started ordinarily enough,

he woke up late,

admired his reflection, 

sneered at everything and everyone 

and admired his reflection some more. 

  
Then, the stupid oaf(**cough**Thor**cough**) decided that there hadn't been enough bonding between the revengers...or rather, between Loki and the other three (being known as a villain to two-thirds of the team does put a damper in their relations) and came up with the "perfect team bonding activity"(Thor's words). The golden boy of Asgard, his brother, and forever pain in his neck decided that they would take.......

A road trip


	2. When The Idea Struck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapters will be a lil short but meh

Thor was content with Loki. And Valkyrie. And Banner.

It was a fact, as clear as the drops wept by the heavens upon his windows. How could he not? 

In barely four year's time, he had lost everything and his brother was the only piece of home he had left, Valkyrie reminded him of his three dead loyal friends and Bruce was his fellow avenger. 

According to his logic; family doesn't mean looking the same. Hell, even having the same blood.

That's what they were. 

A family. 

It is said that bonds forged in near-death situations (the ones forged in fire) were ones that would last forever. He only felt slightly broken every time he looked at his team, his revengers, his slapped together family.

He supposed it was the universe's way of offering an apology, like stealing his gold hammer and giving him a silver axe.

He'd accept it though and decided that they were his now and hel hath no fury like a possessive Thor.

\------------------------------------------------

He got the idea from a magazine.

A Midgardian cluster of glossy pages that contained inputs into the lives of their famous. There was a picture of four laughing people standing in front of a great large van, not unlike the one that Jane had hit him with. The caption read, _"Why keep the fun at home when you could take it with you on the road? Book your luxury RV today and enjoy a vacay with your close ones."_

Out of those nineteen words, Thor understood about eleven. He was still getting used to the language of the mortals but understood enough to know that that van was basically a portable home for people and that it would be fun.

He grinned and looked at the three closed doors in front of him, each hiding his slumbering friends.

Well, the brochure did say "for close ones".


	3. Meet the Victims

Bruce Banner was having a nice day, 

he had a feast with the Asgardians,

Loki only sneered at his clothes once

and he got to play with tech wayyyy more advanced than his own.

So when Thor came barging into his room, he sensed that his good luck had run out.

"BANNER, WAKE UP FOR THE BAKEY AND THE EGGS! FRIEND STARK INTRODUCED ME TO MIDGARDIAN GREETINGS!", An excited Thor was not the first thing his unfortunate ears needed in the morning.

ugh, he needed coffee.

Brunnhilde the Valkyrie (or Val as her friends called her) was feeling murderous.

Her mood might've been the cause of a pillow being smacked on her face while she slept or it could've been the overzealous king of Asgard whining at her to get up."VAL!PLEASE AWAKEN, I HAVE HAD A BRILLIANT PROPOSITION AND YOU ARE NEEDED! GET UP!",Thor Odinson-eternal five year old shouted at her.

Val was by no means a late sleeper, she just drank a little bit too much last night and had a raging hangover and the fact that there was a god screaming in her ear wasn't helping. 

So she wanted to thwack someone with her sword, kick someone in the crotch(preferably lackey) or shove a dagger into someone's eye.

Ugh. She hated mornings.

And finally, there was only one door left which Thor had yet to burst open, it was the entrance to his trickster brother's room.

He wasn't afraid just...being tactical for once in his life, so instead, he decided to do something smart.

He sent Val to wake Loki up.

She eyed(glared) at him for a moment before shrugging and stomping to Loki's room, throwing the door open and flipping on the light and at once, there was a demonic screech from within the room that was her only warning as a blast of magic kicked her out of the room.

Valkyrie stared at the door for a moment before turning around and commenting dryly, "So lackey isn't a morning person.Noted."

Thor just grumbled before stalking forwards and ripping the door right off its hinges. There was another screech from within the room but he just rolled his eyes. Loki could throw all the temper tantrums he wanted but that wasn't gonna save him.

Thors' eye shined with mirth as his fingers began giving off sparks. The figure on the bed stilled. The exact moment when Thor brought his fingers near the blankets was the exact minute a black snake jumped out of the bed, lunging for Thor. The sparks reached first.

Yet again there was a yelp of pain and/or embarrassment, "YOU IDIOT! I'm GOING TO KILL YOU!!!".There was a green flash and instead of a disgruntled snake on the bed, there was a disgruntled Loki instead, with his hair sticking up in every direction. There was a green fire in his eyes that promised retribution.

Poor, oblivious Thor just smiled and opened his arms, hugging(crushing) his younger brother happy that while he wasn't hugging back Loki didn't fight him.

Thor was so ready for his family to have fun, whether they wanted to or not


	4. The Announcement

It was time.

Everyone drank their coffee or tea(Loki was a demon without it) and stared at Thor waiting for him to speak. 

He took a deep breath and started," Friends, as you all know, we as the revengers have not had the time to get to know each other. Therefore I propose the idea of renting a large automobile and venturing through the nine realms on an intergalactic venture.".

It took a second for their sleep addled minds to catch up. Loki understood first, "oaf,", he hissed, "please tell me you don't mean a....road trip."

Thor nodded, "Don't forget intergalactic!".

Bruce didn't look thrilled either, "Thor we need an RV for that and we don't have any money plus you don't want the big guy anywhere in close quarters with you-know-who."

Thor looked beseechingly at Val, the only one who hadn't said anything yet.

She sighed and took a swig of her bottle, "This might actually be cool and if I stay stuck here I'm going to murder somebody.", she finally relented.

Thor gave a smug smile, spun around, and pointed at Loki, "Okay, hand over the credits."

Loki gave a mocking look of outrage, "Oh I am wounded dear brother, that you think I would keep something of such importance with only my selfish self."

Thor just rolled his eyes and gestured again. Loki grinned and summoned a small pouch probably filled with tinkling coins, Thor just raised his eyebrows. 

Loki eyed him and sighed, seeing that he might as well hand over all his pilfered Sakarian credits. A trunk appeared in the middle of the room and swung open with piles and piles of gold coins.

Bruce gasped and moved forward to inspect the trunk.

Valkyrie just rolled her eyes


	5. Chapter 5

Thor grinned and rubbed his hands together. Time to get a van.

...wait. Where do they get an RV?

Their house along with the settlement of the Asgardians was in the middle of nowhere and there certainly wasn't an RV shop next door.

....wait.

Loki was a sorcerer, he could conjure an RV!

Thor pat himself on the back for having such a bright idea. "So Loki, you are going to make us an RV. Val, you're in charge of snacks, Bruce is going to count all the money and I'll go with Val to get stuff from the grocery store.", he told his team the plan of action. Loki laughed in his face and snidely commented,

"Thor you must be a bigger idiot than I thought if you actually believe I can do that. I can but what would that give me?"

Thor just smirked and leaned in, "We'll go to that phantom library you were dying to go to."

Loki froze, the phantom library was one which would change its location every year and only skilled mages could foretell its next location. A few weeks ago after going in a death like trance for two days, Loki was able to pinpoint the exact location of the library.

Very few entered and it was considered an honor to walk among the library's tomes of old plus the trip would get slight suspicion off of him(stupid untrustworthy Heimdall) and convince the people that he would be able to tolerate the two most boisterous people in Asgard without suddenly having the urge to cackle madly and burn down everything.

"One portable house coming right up!"

\-------------------------------------------------

Thor squinted at the grocery list he held clutched in his left hand.

When Val had said 'snacks' she had been really vague, so if anyone was to ask Thor why he had seven sacks of crunchy and tasty(Thor tried them) dog and cat food loaded in his shopping cart.....he could blame Valkyrie. 

Meanwhile, the Valkyrie, being a responsible two thousand year old had immediately begun shoving every canned thing on the shelves into her cart and wasn't stopping anytime soon.

She knew from personal experience that Asgardians(even thin and pasty ones like Loki) could easily out drink and eat an entire dwarven tavern.

And if a few bottles of fine vodka happened to make their way into her cart.....she could blame Thor.

\-----------------------------------------------

Banner decided that he didn't like gold.

Especially piles and piles of it conjured out of thin air.

He was sure that if any other person was in his place, they would try to take the gold but not him, no sir, his mother raised him to be a gentleman, not a person who would steal gold from a person who stole that gold.

The fact that there was a powerful magic user behind him that could easily rip him in half also helped his decision. Counting all the gold...pfff...if it was so easy Thor himself would have done it.

He risked a look behind his back to check on Loki.

The (hopefully) ex-villain was standing turned away from Bruce and was muttering something while waving his hands around in an intricate manner. Bruce watched spellbound as green tendrils left Loki's hands to settle on the grass in front of him, twisting and turning to their master's wishes. Soon a large, rectilinear shape began rising from the grass. Now Bruce had seen some strange things in his life namely aliens, alien psychopaths and magic(not in that order) 

but the scientist in him loved the way that magic pushed the line of physics, just toeing the line between miracles and impossibility.

After watching different people do magic Bruce realized that each person had different tastes and styles;

Wanda performed her magic powerfully but clumsily as if it physically pained her to call upon it. She had untapped potential but refused to believe that the magic was a part of her. With time and control, she would perhaps be able to truly become one of the most powerful chaos magic users in the known universe.

Doctor Strange too had powerful magic but he reminded Bruce of the people who thought learning simply meant reading and parroting texts. The man was strict with his golden magic, while Bruce would've loved to experiment with it.

Loki, on the other hand, had very powerful seidr (magic was a midgardian term he was told)that he not only embraced but had claimed as a part of himself.

Looking now at the thousand-year-old alien prince, Bruce Banner had to wonder,

Whether all those years ago...

When it all started...

Had Loki truly been trying?


	6. The Trojan Horse

Loki smirked.

After all, it's not every day you conjure a solid, twelve-foot tall van which...(drum roll please)...was bigger on the inside.

And there she stood, twelve feet of hollow yet bulletproof steel, furnished inside to mimic a mini penthouse, all hiding under the mundane hues of black and green.

Loki would be living in there as well what did you expect?

Yes, it was taxing, yes his seidr reserves were probably diminished, and no he wasn't sweating...he glowed.

Loki turned around with a flourish(after subtly wiping his brow on his sleeve) and gestured at the van. Banner looked awestruck and he grinned with concealed pride.

"So, Banner, it is quite impolite to stare at someone's things without giving the creator a ton of praises.", Loki chided while looking at the curly-haired human. 

Bruce just mutely shook his head and mentally scoffed at himself, "Pull yourself together!" He scolded himself, "you've seen aliens and been on three different planets and you're amazed by this? Yeah, it's cool but you should be used to this crap by now!". Luckily, he was saved from providing an answer when his phone rang...loudly. Oh...it was Val. Yay.

His hand was on his still ringing phone but another thought just occurred to him. He looked at Loki and asked, "All Rv's have a name. What's this ones'?"

Loki appeared taken back for a second before answering slightly hesitatingly, "It is not like what it seems, its drab outside hiding the surprise inside..therefore I think a suitable name would be

...The Trojan Horse.".


End file.
